My cousin, my sister, my friend

27 years ago, when I was born, my cousin Sarah gained an instant friend, for life. We grew up very close. My late dad and her dad were the only brothers out of a family of 7 children. She had a very special relationship with my dad and she now continues that same special relationship with my mom and I. I am equally close to her brother, mom and dad- who is my Parrain (or Godfather for you non-Louisiana peeps). 

Being born three years apart was a big deal when I was an infant and she was a toddler. As we got older, the 3 year age difference between us seemed to get smaller and smaller. We have shared countless birthday parties, Christmas celebrations and family reunions. 

As the years passed, we became more than just family, we became friends. She would come to stay with me in Baton Rouge for weekends at a time and I would do the same in Lafayette. Now that I live in Texas, she and Brent have come to visit often and I always look forward to their visits. 

We would share secrets, share joys and share sadness. We always found time to have fun, no matter what we were doing. 

When she got engaged to Brent and learned to make MawMaw Musso's famous spaghetti (and secret family recipe I might add), I was right there along side her, learning too.

We have shared bridal showers...

 We have joined our family in the celebration of our Grandma's life by participating in the Komen Race For The Cure year after year...

 We have traveled to the beach and to NOLA for each other's bachelorette parties... 

We have tailgated for countless football games, hung out at more crawfish boils than we could ever remember and have had tons of fun all the while...

We have hugged, kissed and loved...

We have stood by each other as maid and matron of honor on each of our wedding days...

Now it is here, what we always have always hoped and prayed we would get to share together. We have dreamed and prayed about starting families and now here we are both expecting our first children. Both boys. 

But, we never thought it would feel quite this way...

You see, as thrilled and excited I am about my own pregnancy, my heart breaks for my cousin, my sister, my friend during her pregnancy. About 4 months ago, she and Brent's worst fears became a reality when their unborn angel, Braxton, was diagnosed with possible osteogenesis imperfecta type 2. They went to their 20 week doctor's appointment  and ultrasound day-dreaming if Baby B was a girl or boy. That day should have been one of the happiest of their lives; instead it ended up being one of the worst. Sarah and Brent went from dreaming of color schemes, nursery themes and t-ball games to the harsh reality that they will likely not be bringing their son home with them. 

Stunned. Stunned and numb. These are the two words I would use to describe how I felt when I heard their news. You see, we had just found out the week before that we were also expecting. We were thrilled to tell our family and friends but were awaiting our first ultrasound to share our news. When I was 5 weeks pregnant and filled with nothing but excitement, my cousin's whole world was falling apart, right in front of my eyes.

You may remember this post about Braxton and you can also read more about Sarah, Brent and Braxton's journey thus far here . A few months ago, when she asked if I would mind taking some "baby bump" photos with her, it broke my heart. She told me we would likely never have photos of our children together and they would not get the opportunity to love each other like we do. For these reasons, she wanted these pictures. Of course I told her yes, and knew in my heart I would treasure them forever. 

We saw each other a few weekends ago at our cousin's wedding and my Aunt Shea (her mom) snapped a few photos of us as we were both dressed nicely. We hugged, we acted silly and we laughed, oh my gosh, did we laugh taking these photos! (Especially when she realized there was a peacock nearby...she is VERY afraid of birds!) 

When I look at these photos, they bring tears to my eyes. I couldn't imagine my life without Sarah in it and it is utterly heartbreaking to imagine my baby boy growing up without knowing the love of his cousin, Braxton. I know Baby J (and all of us) will always have a special guardian angel in heaven, if God decides He needs Braxton to be with Him. Until then, we will continue to pray daily for a miracle and also for strength for Sarah, Brent and their families. 

When these were taken, Sarah was 35 weeks pregnant and I was 19 weeks.

         

Sarah, I love you. I am proud to call you my cousin, my sister and my friend.